Wow.;~"199.5"~;.Wow

Yes, BethBeth! I am now in Onderland! Thank you for noticing. It is quite amazing to say that. It still seems unreal to me. I hadn't posted about it on here yet because I wasn't sure that I believed it. Me! In the 190's? Really? No way!!! I am! For the first time in 15 years! I couldn't be happier and sadder all at the same time. I am happy because I am doing it. I am becoming what I want to be. I am seeing that I can be and do anything I want to. It is freeing to know that I can do this and that I am doing it. I am proud. It also saddens me to know that I could have done this a long time ago. I didn't have to live the last 20 years of my life in shame. I didn't have to suffer through my teenage years being the "fat girl". It makes me sad that I still have so much to lose. I can't believe that I let myself get so far gone before I decided to fix it. It makes me wonder what is different this time. Why did it finally click for me. My life wasn't so bad. Not like when I was a teen and just wanted to fit in but never did because of my size. Hell, I didn't fit into anything back then. Not my pants, not my shirts. Well, you get the picture. I have also noticed that my outlook on my life is changing as I lose weight and that scares me. But that is another post altogether. :) So many emotions tied to one little number. Seeing the 1XX is freeing, fantastic, scary and so wonderful all at the same time. Buckle your seat belt cause 180's here I come!