Day 1n

I *think* today was day one of the restart. Day 1 of changing my relationship with food again. It's been a million years since I last updated. We have 5 kids now. The youngest, Cara, is 14 weeks old. I haven't stepped on a scale in weeks. I have no idea what I weigh right now. I think it's around 270? I'll check sometime soon. I did great with not using food as comfort all day today. I need to repeat that every day! Around 7:30pm I started wanting to snack and drank water instead. I have to do this for me. My body aches and I am so tired. 40 is on the horizon. My dad had triple bypass in November and he is only 56. That is NOT what I want to be doing at 56. Let's do this instead!

3.4 lbs until wedded bliss weight

221.4 - I am so excited to be 3.4 lbs away from 218.  That's what I weighed 15 years ago when Jon & I got married.  I've lost 90.6 lbs so far.  199 here I come! 😃  Wonder how long it will take me.  I need to start making plans and setting goals.  I would love to hit under 200 by Jon's Birthday on August 5th.  That's 21.6 lbs in almost 3 months.  Totally doable, right?!?

The after

I read a blog today of a lady who was trying to get to the after with her weight loss.  If I can figure out how to link to her post from the blogger app I'll add it here.  So much truth in her words.   Those words resonate with me.  I am someone who once lost 140 lbs to get to the after, only to learn that there was no after and gain all the weight back.  The number on the scale isn't the problem, I am.  The way I view myself and food and food with myself.  That's the problem.  Trying to get to a finish line instead of trying to live.  That is the problem.  At least for me.  I certainly can hear her!

Two months later and here I am!

Time keeps on slipping.  Two months since I updated.  I am lower on the scale than I was then.  Down to 227.  27 until 200...so what?  11lbs in 2 months.  Not great but I'll take it.  It's better than up.

Lily is 6 months old today.  I adore the little personality that she has been showing more and more of lately.  She is our happy girl.  I am a very blessed mama.

I am loving the warmer weather and longer days of spring.  We've planted tons of flowers and now our yard makes me smile.

Looking for a minivan and not having any luck.  Thought we had found the one and the owner sold it out from underneath us.  I was angry for about 5 seconds and then thought about how the PERFECT one is out there and God is leading us to it or it to us.  It all works out in the end either way.  No need to be upset.

I'm excited about taking up on old hobby once again.  I've always loved sewing but haven't had time or motivation in a long time.  I picked up some fabric yesterday and am going now to work on a few projects.  Thinking of trying to set up an at home shop like on etsy and go to craft fairs to push my wares.  Need something to make a little bit of money.  Need to be a grown-up for once and get control of my budget.  :}

     I won't say it this time because every time I do I end up losing interest or time or my mind and I never get around to blogging again.  It has been forever. I am on track and headed back down the scale.
     My new high weight is 312 lbs.  I have had 2 babies since the last time I posted.  Aveline is now 15 months and Lily is 4 months.  I am exhausted and currently weigh 238 lbs.  By the end of the year that will be under 200 lbs.  I joined the YMCA this week and have started working out.  Yay.  Oh and this will no longer focus on just my weight loss but my entire life.  I am more than my weight after all.  :)

Kroger to the rescue!

I haven't had time to go grocery shopping for the last 3 weeks. I went today and bought $245.36 worth of groceries. With my Kroger Plus card and a coupon plan from SouthernSavers.com I spent $90.81. I saved $154.55! Hard to believe that I saved that much with just a little planning. I love it!

I am so sad: For Sumer there are no more tomorrows.

My heart is broken for the Sumer Thompson family in Florida. I normally don't follow much in the news but this story pulls on my heart strings. I am so sad that they found this little girl in the manner that they did. When I heard on the news that she was missing I prayed that they would find her safe and sound. There was no such luck and now her family has to move on with their lives without her. I cried this morning when I heard that she was found dead. I don't know how her family will get through this. I can't imagine what her twin brother feels. 7 years old. It just isn't right. I pray that they find the person responsible. They don't deserve to live. I am so sad.

My house is a wreck

Seriously? My house is such a mess. It makes me cring. I would spout the same lie that I always do when it comes to why my house is so gross but it obviously isn't the truth. The usual "reason" is that I just don't have time. The truth is that I waste a bunch of time. I have time to type this. I could be doing laundry or the dishes or Lord help I could have cleaned a toilet by now. I should be study but...I got tired of looking at it. It is the same excuse with eating right and exercising. There isn't enough time. Ugh. I want to talk about this more but the computer I am using is demon possessed and I don't have enough time. :)

She's just not that into you...

Yeah, I know. I am sorta stealing the name of a book for my title today. That's alright, I loved the book and learned some stuff from it. But, instead of talking about a guy not being that into me, I am talking about a girl. For the remainder of this post she will be known as Sally. (Not her real name but a spin off of her name.) My heart has been heavy for a long time concerning this person. She has been my very best friend for most of my life. We have known each other since I was born 30.5 years ago. Our moms were best friends so we were around each other all the time. We grew up together and she is 1 of only 2 people that I stayed in touch with from high school. For the last 10 years we have had times of super closeness and times of distance. 10 years ago I gave birth to my first child. Unfortunately, Sally had a hard time getting preggo. She was not there for me during or immediately after I had me son. It hurt but I tried to understand that it was painful for her to be around babies when she couldn't have one of her own. I went through a divorce when my son was 5 months old. Sally wasn't really there for me. She went through a divorce during that time too and while I tried to be there for her, I don't know if I was successful or not.

We both got remarried around the same time. I moved across the state so we didn't get to see each other very often. Once every few months I guess. I called her a bunch but she never called me back and we would go weeks at a time without talking. In 2004 I had my daughter. That seemed to make the distance grow longer between Sally and I. In 2006 Sally had her first miracle baby after several years of trying. We grew closer. I stopped feeling like I was causing pain to her by having my kids around her. She had her 2nd baby really quickly. I think they are less than 18 months apart. Sally's life got really busy and I didn't want to be the selfish needy friend so I decided to take a wait and see approach. If she had time for me then that was great but if not that was ok too. Things were ok.

Truly, if someone was telling me these things about thier friendship I would tell them that they were being petty and that relationships go through highs and lows. That is what makes a lasting friendship, being able to survive the lows. But, here is the kicker. Sally just found put that she is preggo again. Yes I am over the moon for her! I am not impressed with the way that she told me. She sent me a text message in a mass text to all of her friends. WTF? Ok, so it bothered me. It even made me wonder if we are only friends because we have always been friends or if we are friends because of something bigger. That was 3 or 4 weeks ago. I got over it. On Mon I called to see if she wanted to get together that night for a quick dinner. She told me that she couldn't because she and her dh had separated over the weekend and she had no one to watch her kiddos. WTF? Now, don't you think that you call your BEST FRIEND about something like that right after it happens for support? You don't wait a few days and casually text them about it. At least that is me. I would have called Sally. She has always been my support system. Evidently she doesn't feel the same way.

Sally's birthday was this week. I know that she is going through a lot right now so I decided to do something nice for her and take her to lunch. I called and called and she never answered. I text her later in the day to see if she was available. She text back and said that she was swamped at work and would call me back later. She never did. I haven't talked to her since.

I am not mad at her. If fact, I am kind of relieved. I have a better understanding of where I stand. I am ok bowing out. I just don't want to do that while she is going through so much. I also don't want to hang around and be the pathetic loser just hoping that she will need me. So, when is the right time to walk away? If I do it now am I an ass? Should I stay or should I go? It is obvious that she's just not that into me.

September Summary

I feel like I wasted most of the month. I have let everything get in the way of my focusing on weight loss. I want it, but maybe I don't want it as much as I should. I started the month at 187.6 lbs. I weighed this morning and I was at 183.6 lbs. I was down to 180 a week ago. Makes me wonder what I am so scared of. Every time I get this close to the 170's I start to gain. I guess that Sept wasn't a complete and total waste, I did lose 4 lbs. But, come on! I should be able to lose almost double that. If I would stop eating everything I see then that would happen. I guess I am having a hard time figuring out how to focus on weight loss and live my life at the same time. Weight loss was not hard for me until I started school. Now I have to spend so much time on my school work that I can't spend a ton of time on eating right and exercising. I am sure that I am not getting enough sleep either. Ah, well...it is what it is.

Now lets look at some goals that will get me through the end of this year. I want to be 160 lbs or less by Jan 1 2010. I have to lose 23.6 lbs between now and then to reach that goal. Umm, yeah. That is a loss of 1.8 lbs a week for the next 13 weeks. That means that the crap I pulled in Sept will not work.

I think my biggest problem with food is my parents. I love em, but they eat like crap. And they show love by feeding people. Put those two things together and they are feeding the people that they love crap. Deep fried, battered, sugary goodness. I can't tell them no. I try and I know that it is my health and I should be able to stand up for my well being and say no but maybe it is a respect thing. I don't know. Gotta figure it out or stop going to see them. I don't want to do that, but I don't want to be morbidly obese again either. Why is life so complicated?

Here is to a better October. I will have a better number at the end of this month than last. I hope that we all do.

I don't know how she does it.

Not sure if you saw Biggest Loser last night. If you didn't, get out from underneath that rock and watch it next week. :)

I already have a favorite. Abby is such inspiration to me. Not in the weight loss realm, but in life. I don't know how that lady gets out of bed every day and puts one foot in front of the other. I am in such awe. Sometimes (ok, a lot of the time) I complain about how hard my life is, but she makes me pause and see that my life isn't so bad after all. If you didn't see the show, here is the background on Abby. Two years ago she had a loving husband, a beautiful 5 1/2 yr old daughter, and a precious 2 week old son. In one instant they were all gone. They were killed by a speeding driver. How in the world does Abby keep going? How does she smile? I don't know, but I am amazed at her will to heal and live. I can't wait to see the changes that she is able to make to her life through The Biggest Loser.

I sometimes don't see the blessings in life. Because of Abby's story last night, I see the blessings in my life more clearly today. Stop and take the time to see the blessings in your life.

It's here, it's here, it's here! & GAG Weigh-in 2

This morning was weigh in 2 for the GAG challenge. I was 180.6 lbs! That is a loss of 1.6 lbs! So far I have lost 7 lbs in this challenge. That rocks! I really haven't done this well all year long. It is crazy what a challenge can do for me. I really feel like I can do this. I hope that everyone in the challenge did well this week. Good luck to everyone.

Gotta say just how excited I am about what is coming on TV tonight. I don't really watch TV. I get distracted easily and don't have much time to waste on it. BUT, I LOVE The Biggest Loser and it is BACK tonight. I have been waiting and waiting for it to come back on. I always get so much motivation from that show. I know that it isn't healthy to lose that much that fast and it isn't something that real people in a real life situation could do but it still inspires me. I will have to record it and watch it late because my son has a cub scout meeting, but I know where I will be late tonight. I will be the one on the couch with my nose in the TV!

You lost 101.4 lbs in one week?!?!

I am amazed at the week one results for the GAG challenge. Everyone in the challenge rocks! In fact, in the first week of GAG we as a group have shed an amazing 101.4 pounds! That rocks my socks! I have my fingers crossed that this week will be as great and rewarding for all of us!

Go Team Comet and everyone else in the challenge! Keep it going. We can all reach our challenge goals as long as we stick with it like we did last week!

Team Comet ~ As a team lost 16.10 pounds!
Manda~~ Lost 5.4 pounds and 2.88%
Melisa~~ Lost 5.2 pounds and 2.30%
Laurie~~ Lost 4.2 pounds and 2.19%
Jon~~ Lost 3.6 pounds and 1.53 %
Kim~~ Lost 1.5 pounds and 0.66%
Jones~~ Gained 3.4 pounds and 1.32%
Lanel~~ Gained 0.4 pounds and 0.19%

A little ribbing for Jon. Where ya at? I thought you were going to give me a run for my money. :) I still love you though. :P

Jones and Lanel-Just think, that means you will have a great big loss next week. I know that you ladies can do this. Just hang in there! I am pulling for you.

Good luck, everyone!

One week of GAG in the books. -5.4!

One week of GAG is behind us. Seems like it is going to fast, really. It means that we only have 15 weeks left. I sure hope that a new challenge starts as soon as this one ends. I haven't been this motivated in months. I love it. So, at weigh in this morning I was nicely rewarded. I weighed in at 182.2 lbs this morning. I lost 5.4 lbs this week! Look out 170's, here I come. I can't wait to see the 160's again too. I hope that everyone had as great a week as I did. :)

GAG: Recipe challenge: Pecan Pie

This is a recipe that I make to take to family get togethers, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is a treat without the guilt.

Pecan Pie

For Crust:
2 cups Fiber One- 240 cal, 4 fat, 56 fiber
1/2 cup light butter-400 cal, 48 fat, 0 fiber
Total for whole crust- 640 cal, 52 fat, 56 fiber

For Filling:
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup granular splenda-74 cal, 0 fat, 0 fiber
1/2 cup splenda brown sugar-480 cal, 0 fat, 0 fiber
pinch salt-0 cal, 0 fat, 0 fiber
1/4 c. cornstarch mixed with 4 T. cold water- 120 cal, 0 fat, 0 fiber
2 T. light butter- 100 cal, 12 fat, 0 fiber
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract- 10 cal, 0 fat,0 fiber
3/4 cup pecan halves- 630 cal, 63 fat, 6 fiber
Total for whole filling-1414 cal, 75 fat, 6 fiber

Total for whole pie- 2054 cal, 127 fat, 62 fiber or 37 points
Serving size is 1/10th of pie which= 206 cals, 13 fat, 6 fiber or 4 points

Directions:
Buy or shell 3/4 cup pecans.
In a blender grind Fiber One to a breadcrumb-like consistency.
Melt butter.
Combine crumbs with melted butter. Stir until mixed well. In an oven-safe 9-inch pie dish sprayed lightly with nonstick spray, evenly distribute mixture, using your hands or a flat utensil to firmly press and form the crust. Press it into the edges and up along the sides of the dish. Set aside.
Mix the splenda and splenda brown sugar in a bowl. In a medium saucepan combine the water and sugar mixture.
Bring to a boil and boil for 5 minutes. Add the salt and the dissolved cornstarch, whisking vigorously. Stir and cook over high heat just until the mixture thickens. Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla—stir until the butter is melted.
The mixture will still be fairly liquid.Pour this into the pie shell. Arrange the pecan halves on top, pressing them down into the mixture with the back of a spoon. Just press them down far enough that they get wet on top. Place the pie in the middle of the oven and set the oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake 30 minutes. The pie will still be jiggly, but it will set as it cools.
Cool on a rack for about 1 and 1/2 hours, then refrigerate until completely cooled and set.
Enjoy! 4WW points per slice if 10 slices

I played with this recipe for weeks before I got it the right consistency. I am a Southern Girl and love pecan pie. I decided that I couldn't have the real thing, but I sure could change it up so it wasn't as bad for me and then have it. This turns out almost as good as "the way mama used to do it". Give it a try and let me know what you think.

GAG: The "oh crap,it is a cook-out" game plan.

There are lots of occasions to get together with family and friends and eat bad. Cooking out is one of those times that unless you go into it with a plan, you are going to come out of it a few pounds heavier. Thanks to GAG, I had a game plan this year! I decided that I could go light on breakfast and dinner today so that I could indulge during the lunch cook-out. I have seen skinny people eat. My SIL is a prime example. If she wants a candy bar, she eats it and then eats less at one of her meals that day. No, I am not advocating eating candy bars instead of real food, but I am saying that I finally understand how it all works. If I want to indulge at times then I am going to have to cut back at other times. Ok, on with the plan.

1) Eat light for breakfast.

2) Have the cook-out at my house, so I am responsible for most of the food and know exactly how it is cooked. Cook a variety of meat so everyone is happy. I cooked steak, chicken, and hot dogs. I had 2 oz of steak and 4 oz of chicken. I didn't over do it with the steak but I didn't feel deprived while everyone else was eating it either.

3) Make lots of veggies. I made corn on the cob, salad, and green beans. I loaded up on those things so that I got full faster and didn't eat crap.

4) Serve fruit for dessert. I had watermelon. Sweet and delicious.

5) Eat a light dinner to make up for all the food I had at lunch time. Tonight I had a Fat Free wiener and Lite Wheat hot dog bun with green beans that were left over from lunch and 10 Sun chips.

All in all my game plan worked out really well. I am hoping that the scale will reward me for my efforts in the morning. This week has been amazing thanks to GAG!

See what being gone all day does for you?!?

It seems that teams were assigned for GAG today while I was out and about. I am gonna have to email Sheila and let her know that she has to hold the presses until I am home and on the computer. :) j/k Really though, I hope that her little one is recovering from the flu. It is awful when your babies are sick. Ok, I will stop yapping and go check out the teams now. BRB.

Drum roll, please...
TEAM COMET
Jones
Lanel
Manda
Jon
Laurie
Melisa
Kim

Well, there it is! The reason I couldn't sleep last night. heehee. I am stoked that my hubby is on my team. I am also excited to get to know the other members of Team Comet. I am so loving all the support that has already been going around. I was worried about joining a challenge on a blog, but I am so glad that I did. Funny how something so simple can completely turn things around for you. I had a fantastic food day. I ate right on track. I was tempted by pizza at my parents house and I politely said no thanks. I felt so powerful in that moment. I felt the power to control what I put in my mouth and the power to control my size. I haven't felt that power in several months. It felt good. That feeling is how I lost so much weight to begin with. It was then that I started thinking about how great I have done. Not to sweep the last couple of months while I have been struggling under the rug, but I really have done so much better then I ever would have believed that I could.

Two years ago TODAY is when my husband and I started losing weight. I weighed 304.5 lbs. This morning I was 186.5 lbs. That is a 118 lb loss. Wow, it doesn't even seem real still. My dh was 307.5 lbs and is now 235 lbs. He rocks! Crazy.

Ok, a big shout out to all the COMETS! We can ALL do this! I am hitting the sack but will talk to you all tomorrow. Can't wait!

But I'm too excited to sleep!

I just got home from A&P II. We did hematocrits tonight. I loved it. I am so tired and need to head to bed, but I wanted to stop by the GAG challenge and see what was going on. Just reading up on the challengers made me think about how excited I am to see the teams. I can't wait. I am going to bed, but I already know that I am too excited to sleep. Today was a better day food wise then yesterday. Tomorrow will be even better!

The best of intentions on Day 1

Day 1 is in the books. Can't go back now, only forward. Yesterday I did ok with my eating. I say ok and not great because lunch kinda got me. I was away from home in an area that I am not real familiar with. I was starving so I decided to find something for lunch. After passing 15 fast food restaurants I found a small locally owned cafe. I thought that it would be great. I could get some veggies and get out of lunch without going way over board. Have you ever been to a small cafe like this? When I went in I was surprised to find that they only have a lunch special. It is different every day apparently. Yesterday, the lunch being served was pork loin w/2 sides. I didn't think that would be to bad. Except the sides were cheese potatoes, candied yams, or mashed potatoes. Yeah, lots of healthy vegetable choices. :P I ended up getting cheese potatoes and candied yams. It was really yummy but not so great for me. Now I know not to stop there again. Wish I could have found a Subway. Sometimes the best of intentions turn out bad. Now to look forward. I WILL have a great day today. I WILL exercise today. I WILL reach my goals this year! I am so excited over the GAG challenge. Thank you Sheila! You have no idea how motivated this challenge has made me!

GAG-Sept 1st-Beginning Pics

It is not pretty. I have been all over the place with the scale lately. Last week I was 181.6, this week I am 187.6. How in the world do you gain 6 lbs in one week? I think it had something to do with the overload of carbs and meatloaf this week. But, today is a new start! GAG here I come.